laidnyc

I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER UNTIL YOU TURN 30

My Last Post: Why I’m Quitting Blogging

Here lies LaidNYC, we hardly knew ye.  Square jaw, sharp tongue, and rumor has it he was that guy from Nantucket.

I’m done blogging.  I may start a new project in the future, I may not.  But if you want to be posted if I do, you should sign up for my mailing list. (Sorry the link opens on a new page.  Apparently you can’t embed a form into a wordpress hosted blog post)

Oh, and since guys who know this kind of thing tell me more people will sign up for your email list if you offer something for free, you’ll get some nice goodies when you sign up:

A free report I wrote last year on approach anxiety (5 pages)

- The LaidNYC Vault, (606 pages) a pdf file that contains every post on this blog

All of my tweets in a pdf file (361 pages) (I’ve deleted the archive and will delete the account soon)

- A pdf of all my ask.fm wisdom (39 pages) (account also now deleted)

-The “Ten Laws of Finding Your Mission” (15 pages), an ebook that I wrote, gave away for like a week and then took down.  Reviewed here by Matt Forney.  Also reviewed by Free Northerner.

You’ll get all that, which is pretty much everything I’ve ever written under the LaidNYC name, just for getting on my mailing list, which I may never email, Completely Free.

[Edit:  Just email me after you sign up and I will send you those files I promised.  I am too short on time to troubleshoot aweber right now.  Thanks.]

Okay, wait, lets backdafuckup.  Why am I retiring this blog and moniker?  Many reasons.  Here it goes:

My writing has gone downhill.  You are no doubt an adoring fan who hasn’t noticed anything negative about me but I believe if you go through my archive you’ll see that most of my best posts are from months and months ago.  Traffic has risen steadily, but that’s not necessarily a metric of quality.  My three favorite posts of mine are all from last summer.  Yeah, yeah, I can still articulate and turn a phrase as well as a wily jew, but my subject matter has been largely derivative.  I’ve been posting just to post, not bringing elite value.  I lost the fire.

I’m sick of anonymity.  In the ugly-truth-tell-o-sphere, the case for using a psuedonym is rock solid.  It’s just a pain in the ass (and as far as pen names go, LaidNYC is no Mark Twain, I cringe just looking at my pseudonym).  The next work I pen will be under my real name.  I am a proud man and I’d like credit for the delicious bon mots that I craft.

I’m sick of writing about feminism.  Feminism is anti-civilization and a destroyer of beauty, as valid an enemy as there is.  I’m just tired of using my brainpower on it.  My best trafficked posts are always the anti-feminist screeds and that disappoints me.  It’s good writing, just not really something I want to be known for.

I don’t think about game much anymore.  Obviously I will still use game in my daily life forever, but if you’re trying to attain  mastery, guys who are in the field making their bones (heh) are who you should listen to.  I’m in a relationship now (top that, motherfuckers!), so I’m not your best source on game, I don’t have the edge of urgency.  Last week I listened to my manosphereradio interview from last summer, and it is all good information that I still largely believe in, but I was just a completely different person then.  I’m in a different place now.  As far as the relationship: A lot of guys in the ‘sphere hate on monogamy, but different strokes.  I screened well, I’m pairbonded, I like it and I’m gonna see where it leads.  Come on now, you’ve read my stuff, does anyone honestly think I can’t handle a relationship without getting played? Bitch please.

I’m culling my technology usage.  I’ve spent way too much of my life in front of screens and its going to stop. I need to get rid of my stimulation-seeking popcorn brain.  I’m not an internet addict or anything, but social media is definitely a prudent thing to cut.  My twitter is getting deleted this week.  I can catch up on twitter a month from now just by checking a handful of guy’s feeds, and I don’t even need an account to do that.  Besides work related things, once a day email checking, and checking my Feedly once a week, I won’t be surfing the web until after the summer, at least.  This more than anything is biggest reason I’m quitting.

This blog is small potatoes.  The bigger I dream, the smaller this blog seems.  Its just a non-profitable time waster.  So why not monetize?  Well, I had an ebook on game almost completed, around 120 pages of mostly new content at the last draft, then I just fucking deleted it.  I’m not putting out some game product just to make a quick thousand or two on launch, then get essentially handcuffed into continuing my blog just so I can keep selling products at ten bucks a pop here and there.  I am NOT hating on anybody who sells things on their blog:  it is just not for me at this time.

The show will go on.  The Mount Rushmore guys of the manosphere are still standing, there are great websites and podcasts out there, and it seems like more keep popping up.  Fight Club has moved out of the basement and its Project Mayhem now.  I am not special.

Questions:

Why not just keep the blog/twitter and post in a few months if the mood strikes?  Aren’t you being a little dramatic?

Probably, but I like the idea of a clean break.  It’s freeing.  We can still be friends though.

Are you going to delete the blog?

I won’t scorch the earth but I’m not going to stop anything from happening to it, either.  I probably just won’t log in anymore.

So what are you going to do now?

You mean other than work, hang out with my friends and girlfriend and enjoy life outside the internet?  Glad you asked.

First, I’m taking the time/creative energy I put into pickup and manosphere stuff and putting it into a few business opportunities.  I can’t go into details here, obviously.

Second, I’m putting more effort into fitness/health.  Making sure to get gym time in, preparing paleo meals instead of ordering from Seamless, juicing, etc.  This stuff takes time.  As eye candy, I bear a certain responsibility to the world to be in my best shape for the summer.

Finally, I will continue to allot myself some time to write.  Only it will be with a pen, paper and a clear mind rather than tabbing back and forth between twitter and a wordpress draft.  I don’t know where its gonna lead but I have a few ideas and if you want to be kept posted, definitely sign up for my email list. If I do launch a new project it would benefit from a ready audience.  I won’t spam this list.  In fact, as it stands right now I may never actually email this list.  But if you like my writing you’ll probably want to be on it just in case.

So there you have it.  If you want to get at me for any personal or professional reason, I will continue to check my laidnyc@gmail.com account.  There are some good people out there so don’t be surprised if I contact some of you in the future as well.  There are at least a few of you that I’d like to collaborate with on projects in the future if the opportunity arises.

Man plans, God laughs.  I have no idea what the future holds for me.  But I can’t wait to find out.

Sign up for the email list here.

Linkage For Your Soul

“I’ve always depended on the linkage of strangers” – Blanche DuBois

This blog is doing well on traffic, thanks in large part to getting linked from other popular writers.  So I am going to pass on some of that karma and link to some guys who have helped me, taught me or entertained me somewhere along the way.

One of my favorite writers in our corner of the web was always Frost, he’s like my Canadian doppelganger, so I’m happy that he’s starting Red Pill Review, an aggregator that will have a wider scope than the others.  There’s been a little tension between the manosphere and reactionaries/dark enlightenment but there is still a ton of crossover interest, and Red Pill Review fills a need: providing immediate links to the latest posts of both in one webpage.  Hit up Frost if you like it/hate it/have suggestions.

Paleo tribal leader John Durant is an honorary member of the manosphere/reactosphere whatever you call it.  A lot of the things we say under psuedonyms, he says under his real name.  Seriously, check out his twitter stream some time and follow him if you don’t already.  Also, buy his book.  My favorite metric of how much I like a book is how fast I read it (scaled to its length/difficulty), and I got through The Paleo Manifesto in about 10 hours.  I couldn’t put it down.  He explains human history so clearly and easily that I would recommend this book to someone even if they were a dumbass.  “This book changed my life” is an Oprah cliche, but it holds true for me here.  I’ll never look at food the same way again.  If I ever meet Durant, first drink is on me (to avoid waterborne pathogens of course).

Promising newcomers:  Henry Dampier provides clear, articulate cultural analysis.  John Glanton is one of the best writers I’ve ever read and that’s no small statement.  And he maintains possibly the best ask.fm profile in existence as well.

If you are up for an intellectual challenge, check out Bryce Laliberte and Aimless Gromar.  There is no shame in using a dictionary when you read these guys.  If you can get through Bryce’s book What Is Neoreaction? without putting a revolver in your mouth, then either your IQ is above 120 or you don’t own a revolver.  As far as the neoreactionaries go, I am partial to these two guys because I’ve met them in person and they are cool.

If my favorite commenter Yohami ever starts posting more to his blog you’ll want to read it.

Branching out a bit from the usual manosphere clickhole, Ben Settle provides a masculine way to learn about copywriting and marketing.  He’s a refreshing voice in a field that is usually populated almost entirely with faggots.  I bought his book Zombie Cop but have not started reading it yet.

Dennis Mangan, who might be a distant cousin of mine if the surnames of my 23andme matches are to be trusted, runs a blog that not only provides great reactionary commentary, it also has the best comment section on the web.  He also posts to what I would call a health science blog.  Check out his book if you suffer from fatigue.

The manosphere’s resident style expert, Tanner, deserves a mention.  I also like the Black Tie Guide.

If you have an iPhone you’ll want to get the Glimpse app, it is like Snapchat except snapchat messages get stored on servers.  Glimpse messages truly disappear.  I’m looking forward to it coming to Android, so I can spread it amongst my peer group and multiple baby mamas.

A couple guys I discovered at Return of Kings: Runsonmagic and Trouble.

I envision myself taking the plunge one day because I love kids, but if you are a guy with any blood in your veins, the original scribes of Mark Minter will make you question everything you think about marriage.  I realize the guy got ganked from the manosphere for choosing happiness over integrity, but his words live on.  I don’t endorse his diatribes as they are anti-intimacy at their base, but an entertaining read nonetheless.  Guy was a good writer.

There is skepticism over praising so-called “Red Pill Women”, but of all the fillies I like Sunshine Mary.  Anybody who feminists hate that much is speaking some truths.

I haven’t seen the seemingly now inactive Men Are Better Than Women page get any ‘sphere love, but it is hilarious (and really only sort of tongue in cheek).

For money guys, I like Ramit, CoinDesk, and ZeroHedge.

And of course, if you don’t already follow Heartiste, Roosh, Rollo, and Krauser then I have no idea what you are doing on my blog.

Upset that I didn’t link you or your favorite blog?  Get a life.

The Best Way To Learn Game

From an emailer:

What process does one take from being a beginner to expert. There’s so many game concepts, how do you internalize them to the point where they are second nature? I hope the question is not too confusing, and hope you can help.

Thanks for your help in advance,

Player in Training

The best thing you can do is forget about game concepts entirely while you are in the moment, talking to a girl.  Allow yourself to fuck up and fail.  It will happen.  It has to happen.  Players are made through failure, not success.

Then, analyze later what happened, why you failed.  Next time you are in that same situation you will get a brief flash telling you the correct action to take.  This is how you “run game” without feeling too weird in your own skin or too scripted.

Accept that don’t have to ever be 100% prepared for an interaction with a girl.  Reading stuff is great but you should always favor ACTION OVER INFORMATION ACQUISITION.  Make your own mistakes.  Forge your own strength.  Create your own game from an archive of your experience.

The Case For A Heartiste Donation Drive

dcvh

Free Northerner has a good post up analyzing the impending entryism of the manosphere.  He gives an analysis of how a community might be hijacked, and how that could be avoided.  I have my own take.

In ancient times, walled cities were built to protect against invading tribes. As populations grew, walls were built outwards in concentric circles. If they were attacked, the people withdrew behind the outermost wall. If that wall was breached, they would withdraw within the next wall, and so on, until they were forced into the center, the most heavily guarded part of the city: The Citadel. The Citadel contained all the town’s treasures and housed the most important people: the king, nobles, officers. Defense of the Citadel was the key to the city’s survival: as long as it could be held, the rest of the city could be recaptured and rebuilt.

So what is the manosphere’s citadel? What must be defended at all costs?

Chateau Heartiste.

You may not like the answer, but there it is. Almost all other manosphere blogs do not matter in the least. Sturgeon’s Law defined. Now, people always have some minor gripe about CH: christians don’t like that he’s against marriage, pussies don’t like that he’s racist, reactionaries don’t like that he doesn’t speak out against suffrage, and some people hold against him that his writing quality declined a little since 2011.  But look at the cumulative: There is no greater entry point for the curious man, no better archive, no blog more skilled and entertaining at truth telling, nobody overlaps the various worlds of truth better, nobody reduces the opposition to point and sputter better than CH. He doesn’t sell products or ads or spam affiliate links. Nobody produces more value for so little cost.

I don’t know if the original Roissy is still involved, I don’t know if its one author or multiple authors, frankly it doesn’t even matter. The fact is the best thing you can do if you care about the manosphere or the “red pill” is to donate money to Chateau Heartiste so that whoever it is keeps writing, and link as many people to it as possible.

How’s this even: If you really want to advance the “redpill”, don’t write a dating or politics blog. Write about some other male interest: style, fitness, cars, and then start slipping in CH links to your readers. Don’t force it or preach, let them ingest it and then follow the clickhole themselves. That’s how everyone gets initiated. Almost every redpiller I’ve spoken to says they started with Roissy. The only other thing you could do is write so well that you move inside the Citadel yourself. Not everybody has that ability.

Hierarchy is inevitable, and just because you don’t acknowledge it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  If you are in the Manosphere, CH is your better (as a writer/influencer).  It would be a good start for everyone to send CH a few bucks for all the good he/they have done over the years.

Why I Unfollowed You On Twitter

Twitters a helluva drug.

Writing cool quips that get instantly rewarded with favorites, retweets and replies is addicting.  Getting tricked into thinking you have 1000 friends to talk to all day is deceiving.  Add to that the fact that there are tons of smart guys out there in the manosphere and dark enlightenment constantly providing new information and jokes so you never get bored for more than 30 seconds.  You get linked to articles with information you already know and confirm for yourself how smart you are. It’s tough to look away.

But when I got disappointed because I forget to bring my smartphone into the bathroom with me to take a dump, I knew I had to cull my social media usage.  This has been spoken about before.  Roosh.  Frost.

But twitter has provided me some value.  There is good info on there, so I wasn’t about to coldturkey it (yet).  I needed a smart way to scale it back.

So, I noticed two things:

First, a handful of guys are not only smart, they are excellent retweeters.  I could unfollow 60-70% of the people on my list and still get their best tweets retweeted to me.

Second:  You can subscribe to LISTS.  People aggregate tweets from a group of similar people on a shared timeline.  You can glance at one of these and extract all the twitter value you need in about 3 minutes without feeling the need to read every last tweet like you do when you are following someone.

Here are a few lists I recommend:

Dark Enlightenment
Reaction
Red Pill
Manosphere

So, with those two points in mind, I did a slash and burn of my followers, deleting about 200 of them.  I left the landmark guys, guys I actually interact with, and the best retweeters.  If you were among those deleted, its nothing personal.  I probably still read your blog, but you can unfollow me out of spite if you want.  Since you may not be able to send me a DM anymore, feel free to send me an email at laidnyc at gmail.

My plan is that instead of flipping over to my twitter feed every time I’m bored, I’m going to try to only check it twice a day, for ten minutes at most.  Popcorn Brain must die.

Be The Resistor

Hey I can only stay for a minute.  (he talks to her the rest of the night)

“…that is why things would never work out between us” (then he takes her phone number)

Hands off this shit aint free (he touches her 30 seconds later)

You can come in but only for a minute (she sleeps over)

“We should stop”  “Yeah, we should” (he keeps going)

It is like a hack or a cheat code to seduction:  You can physically and logistically escalate as long as you verbally deny it.  Its to the point where I’m convinced you can slide your hand up a girl’s skirt and as long as you say “I am not fingering you”, she’ll have no problem with it.  It’s amazing how well this works.  It’s like discovering a flaw in a video game that lets you beat it every time.

If I could sum up the concept it is this: be the resistor (verbally), be the escalator (physically).

Fundamentally speaking, this works because the one who wants the other less is in power.  So being the resistor is a power play.  The catch?  Girls know this and do it, and they do it better than men.

We’re not going to have sex tonight.
Do you always talk to girls on the street?
Nothing’s going to happen, I’m a good girl.

Most guys don’t get that girls are grabbing the power with these statements so they switch into chase mode like a pussy-begging dullard, leaking more and more control over the interaction until the girl’s legs  snap violently shut like a bear trap.

Don’t do that.  Instead, you retake the control.  Re-establish yourself as the resistor.  When she steps back, you step back a little further.  Every time she sets a boundary, you reset one in a different place.  Every time she draws a line in the sand, you redraw one on your terms.

Her: I don’t kiss on the first date
You: Good, I don’t kiss before marriage

Her: We’re not having sex tonight
You:  Relax, are you always thinking about sex?

Her:  Let’s just be friends.
You:  Nah I don’t see you as a friend.  We shouldn’t hang out anymore.

Here is what this concept looks like in action:

Fuck GDP

Let’s take two scenarios in different countries.

In Country A, this guy Steven Hirsch funds and shoots a porn film where two beautiful young blond women have sex with some dude.  They’re paid over a thousand bucks for the scene which they spend on vices.  A desperate, lonely man coughs up his credit card information to watch it and jacks off.  He gets depressed when finished.  He forgets to cancel the membership he bought and ends up paying an extra month.  This counts towards GDP.

In Country B, a beautiful young woman decides to get married.  She has 5 kids, four of whom are daughters who inherit her beauty.  She raises them to adulthood with her husband.  When they come of age they are all healthy, well-mannered, and beautiful.  They do not count towards GDP.

Who produced more wealth?  Which country is better off?

Fuck GDP.

r vs. K Selection is not Alpha vs. Beta

I’ve only had a handful of true “holy shit” moments of clarity in my life.  One was at age 17 when I realized girls want you more when you pay less attention to them. Another was finding Milton Friedman’s Free To Choose series and realizing my college Econ professors were full of shit (The Chicago School is flawed but those videos still massacred sanctimonious progressivism).  Another was reading Sperm Wars.

My most recent full stop holy shit moment was last year at some point when I stumbled upon r vs. K-selection theory.  A good narrative is here (click the links and read in order).  It has flaws, the author tries to box r-K into democrat-republican a little too transparently, and he tiptoes around the theory’s more unpleasant implications (cough RUSHTON cough), but it is a hard-hitting work nonetheless.

Roughly speaking, the theory states that the K-selected mate with fewer partners, but are choosier about mate quality, and have fewer offspring but invest more parentally.  The animal comparison is the wolf.  In contrast, the r-selected mate a lot, and less discriminately, and have more offspring that they care less about.  The animal comparison is the rabbit.

Now, obviously any “reproductive strategy” will be of interest to the game community, where everything gets broken down into terms of alpha and beta.  But there’s a problem, folks.  Namely, r vs. K-selection does NOT parallel alpha vs. beta.

Consider the following assortment of people:

Bisexual men are r-selected.  Traditionalists are K-selected.

Antonio Cromartie is r-selected.  Pat Tillman was K-selected.

Feminists are r-selected.  The Patriarchy is K-selected.

Rockstars are r-selected. The guy who invented bitcoin is probably K-selected.

Mystery is r-selected.  Your grandfather was K-selected.

Ghengis Khan is r-selected.  Ronald Reagan is K-selected.

The guy who bangs a fat chick on a dry spell is r-selected.  The guy who’d rather jack off is K-selected.

Barney Stinson is r-selected.  The other guy is K-selected.

Your mom is r-selected.  My mom is K-selected.

Now note that these examples are mixed.  This is not about r selection is good vs. K selection is bad, nor vice versa.  A K-selected man can send tingles straight through every woman he meets, or he can be a shut-in AV Club nerd.  An r-selected guy could be a master of picking up women, or he could be a porn addict.  Remember, just because someone WISHES to pursue an r-selected strategy doesn’t mean they will be successful at it.  You can be r-selected and not be able to get laid.  Likewise, you can be K-selected and pass up tons of pussy to raise a family.

The main applicability to game, though, is that the sexual market of today does seem to reward r-selected indicators:

Preselection.
Flashiness.
Extraversion.

But status is situational.  These short term mating strategies matter today, and they may have mattered back on the african savannah when you needed to mate with as many women as possible before you got gored by a hippo.  But true r-selects wouldn’t last even 2 generations in a cold, scarce environment where creative problem solving and rearing children to adulthood rule the day.  That’s where K-selects come in.  But then they got a little too good at problem solving. They created quick and easy warmth, food, communication, transportation. What happens when things are comfortable for everyone?

Introducing the Dimorphic Attractiveness Quotient

It’s been repeatedly documented that people rate composite faces as more attractive than the faces used to create them.  The “beauty is average!” conclusion is just lazy analysis, and I haven’t really seen other theories to explain this, so I will posit one.

Composite “average” faces will essentially blend out features that are very feminine or very masculine.  The resulting composite face is attractive to mates because it could conceivably parent an attractive child of either gender.  An evolutionary hedging of bets, if you will, that increases the chance of their offspring being successful on the sexual market.  I am dubbing this measure of beauty the Dimorphic Attractiveness Quotient. Its possible attractive faces simply have a high DAQ.

Think about a guy like Pat Tillman, a lantern-jawed alpha male (RIP).  If he had fathered a son, the child would no doubt be a masculine wonder.  But imagine if a daughter accidentally got his jaw?  Yikes.  If he had a daughter with a feminine looking woman, it could help bridge the gap, but the biological daughter of, say, Leonardo DiCaprio, would have no such handicap.  And Pat Tillman isn’t the best example here, his jaw is just the single most masculine feature I could think of but the rest of his face would be pretty high in DAQ.  A better example of an extreme masculine face is Andre the Giant.  Yeah, Andre makes the point much better.  He’s also pretty symmetrical by the way, the symmetry = beauty theory never made any sense outside of cases of deformity.

It works for women, as well:  A delicate flower of feminine neoteny would most likely mother a pleasant looking daughter, but a weak son unable to compete for resources or mates.

This isn’t to say very masculine or very feminine faces are de facto unattractive.  It is merely that evolutionarily speaking, those faces are a gamble.  Sometimes, those gambles fail:

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Sexual dimorphism is a beautiful thing but it must toe a delicate balance.

I have a friend who is a dead ringer for Fred Flintstone with a chin the size of Texas and he’s dating a tiny, mousey cute Greek/English girl.  I’m rooting for them to have kids just to see what comes out.

(Please note that I wrote this post in twenty minutes pre-gym while waiting for my creatine to fully absorb with one hand on my big balls, yet it still contains more original thought than most federally-subsidized grad students can muster in 6 years. I believe the term of art here is “suck it”.)

The Virgin Diaries

Ask.fm may be a male attention-whoring tool, but I like most of the questions I’ve been getting. Take this one, for example:

I am a virgin. My friends made a big deal of it in uni but i couldnt bring myself to throw it away to sluts i had chances with. I still am a virgin and not ashamed, i have passed up plenty. I want to go out with someone worthwhile but the manosphere suggests as a virgin this is impossible. thoughts?

“Virgin” is a misplaced concept when applied to men because it is first and foremost a way to classify women.  It is a symbol of youth, innocence, feminity, ability to bond, and nulliparity.

A man’s sexual past, chaste or not, matters far less.  “N-count” is an inefficient measure of a man.  Plenty of virgins stormed the beaches of Normandy, while plenty of unmuscled DJ’s who have never struggled a day in their life bang tons of women. The ability to get laid has always been admired on some level and promiscuity is far less damaging to a male, so provided there was no adultery, it never really damaged a man’s social status.  For that reason, male virginity was never really thought of as a virtue, either.  In this way, “virgin” is kind of like the word “slut”:  loosely relevant but far less meaningful when applied to men.

Here is the stigma though: when we hear a guy is a “virgin”, we instantly associate it with him being socially maladjusted. It is simply assumed that in our sex-obsessed society, anyone who has not had sex before must be unable to obtain it. For the most part, it is true.  But if you have the charisma and status needed to obtain sex and you simply want to wait for a suitable girl, I see no problem with that.

Now, if what I just said can be counted as a defense of male virginity, I must balance the score by saying I have never personally known a socially well-calibrated man who was a virgin past the age of 22 or so.  While I’m not saying such a thing is impossible, be honest with yourself and make sure that “saving it for the right girl” isn’t just a defense mechanism.  Don’t shit on my plate and tell me its chocolate cake.

For your situation though, hope is not lost.  Virgin men can be attractive, or else how would any man lose his virginity? While some girls might find a virgin attractive, consider first the type of girl who would be very put off by the fact that you’ve never had sex before. It would most certainly be a girl who has had some sex partners in her past. As being the more sexually experienced one in a relationship is a masculine trait, naturally these girls will be put off by male virgins. It would not necessarily be you that turns them off, it is feeling masculine, feeling in control. You should then focus on girls who respond to your lead, your control, and to your touch.  If this means focusing on girls who are virgins themselves or have thin sexual history, so be it.  This may narrow your options in today’s world, but from this breakdown you can see the speciousness of the claim that high quality women are the most put off by virginity.  Consider your ability to be a masculine presence to a feminine girl to be far more important than the number of vaginas your penis has penetrated.

Learning game is simply a tool to achieve your goals with women. Guys who have seed-spreading instincts may not relate to wanting to hold onto your virginity, but you don’t need to apologize for it. I’d simply stop talking about it if I were you, and live the life you want. I sympathize a bit here. Banging a well-worn slut of questionable attractiveness just for the sake of losing your virginity will likely just be depressing, because who you have sex with is what you think of yourself.

Also, while much is said of the ubiquity of modern sluts, if you are really ONLY meeting sluts, consider the avenues you are using to meet girls are flawed.  Also, if one these ‘sluts’ you meet has never tempted you into sex, consider the attractiveness level of these girls as well.  Has your virtue really been tested, or are these girls simply not that hot?  Food for thought.

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